11 Simple Weight Loss Tips (CNN.com)

11 Simple Weight Loss Tips (CNN.com)  (Read this before continuing or I will not make much sense)

I appreciate the effort but this article just seemed laughable to me.  I think the key is all things in moderation. Our culture and social interactions primarily focus on food and drink. We celebrate with dinners, drinks, and cake.

Here is my “in other words” take on these 11 “simple” weight loss tips (and by simple they mean life ruining).

1. Table. Plate. Chair.
Eat your cheesies on a plate, at the table, while sitting. Never standing!

2. Willpower is a mental muscle. Exercise it.

Sleep. A lot. Will power regenerates when you sleep and you also can’t eat while you’re sleeping. BONUS!

3. Be realistic.
High school you is dead. Get over it.

4. Find better friends
Your friends are pigs so stop associating with them immediately because pigs don’t deserve friends. Find some friends that like to sit around and talk about fitness and eat carrots and kale. They may not be interesting or have anything in common with you but thin is better than happy.
For future reference, screen all potential friends and ensure they are 25% protein, 25% whole grains and 50% produce.

5. Do a cart check.
This sounds like too much math for me while I am standing in line at the grocery store waiting to pay and I would rather see who has the worst bikini body of the year on the conveniently placed trashy magazine racks.

6. Do not eat in response to that thing.
Be that weird person at Thanksgiving eating a single slice of turkey and sipping on tepid water. They will stare but they are just jealous of how fit you are.

7. Tell yourself: “I have the right to be thin.
I am good enough, smart enough, and dog gone it, people like me.

8. Set S.M.A.R.T. goals.
The devil is in the details.

9. Stand up.
I suggest office dancing, especially while on a conference call.
To be fair this one is a good idea for blood flow and all that jazz.
https://i1.wp.com/images.fanpop.com/images/image_uploads/David-Dancing-the-office--28uk-29-39827_180_100.gif

10. Life will never be stressfree. Learn to cope.
Life sucks but just put the fork down. If you are eating to celebrate or because you are happy, you are doing it wrong.

I am not promoting you go out and eat yourself onto a 1000lb man special on TLC but you can enjoy life and friends and “that thing” but just do it in moderation.
You can be happy and healthy while walking around eating food at a party with your fat friends without using a plate.

 

 

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One response to “11 Simple Weight Loss Tips (CNN.com)

  1. RE: 5. I prefer to do a cart check on the people around me. Nothing boosts my self esteem more than knowing I’m eating more delicious food than others.

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